6 relationships you should experience before committing forever!
"To love, honour and cherish, forever"... Wait a second, how long a “forever” are we talking here?
If you've barely scratched the surface on what the world has to offer in terms of sex, love and rock 'n roll, well, you might want to postpone those little "I do's" a little longer, say 5 to 10 years maybe? Or until you have lived a little.
Those little "I do's" just might not make the cut if you haven't experienced what is out there. Regrets, doubts and afterthoughts and are going to make that "forever-and-ever" a whole lot shorter, or worse, peppering your marriage with "If only".
Since the world has gotten faster and smaller, we are being constantly thrown back into the pool of society, one that has become more sexually aware over the years. Every day we are exposed to new things, shinier and better things... and temptations. We also get divided as to what you have, what you think you have, what you want and then there is what you wish you had.
It's a hard-game marriage (or life commitment), and even harder if you haven't been around the block a few times to see what there is. Not to say you should become a promiscuous little beast, no, but more on the lines of experiencing at least once what each relationship has to offer.
There is also the fact that we need the skills and mindset to enable ourselves to cope. A frame of reference is needed to understand what it means to not only cope with someone else's bad habits, trust, mannerisms and such but more importantly, how do we cope with ourselves at the same time to make a life-long commitment work.
What can you learn?
#1 - The long-distance relationship
Having a relationship with someone in the next city or time zone comes with a fair share of complicated circumstances. There is having to endure those long cold nights alone, having to cope with the endless "I miss you" texts and the "why haven't you called today" scenarios.
On top of it all, there are those horrible flashes and thoughts about what your partner could be up to. Especially when your partner mentions that fucking name of that overly-attractive work colleague. Why they always seem to be in the picture, is beyond you.
This relationship will take the meaning of trust to a whole new level.
This sounds like trouble to some, and it is, but it's not all doom. They can work for some people, not all.
On the plus side though, as a woman, they master the art of becoming a Webcam goddess, while guys get to legitimately swap dick-pics without being reported as a sex-fiend.
So what does a LDR teach you?
It's the ultimate test of loyalty and trust. Not only towards your partner but more specifically, you get to learn how to trust yourself.
#2 - The whirlwind affair
This is the crack-cocaine of all relationships. It's the one where everything happens fast and all at once - within the first few weeks of meeting each other. Euphoric blasts of dopamine, adrenaline, hormones and excitement of having fun with this stranger.... The chat-a-thons that last until sunrise, the raw, lustful sex, the dumping of all inhibitions and exploring the daring side of yourself. Like wearing vibrating pods on a weekend getaway to some romantic vineyard, daring, you never did that before!
Every fantasy comes true in this relationship, it's quick, it's furious and exciting. You are having the time of your life.
And that's the point, you're having fun which means getting to live a little.
What does this relationship teach you?
You get to see a different side of yourself. One that is completely different from your usual day-to-day you. You get to keep the story about the day you let all inhibitions go. There's that, and you learnt quite a few neat and kinky tricks along the way. No regrets!
#3 - Online dating
Loved by some and hated by others. Regardless of moral grounds, social norms, or the “I prefer the traditional face-to-face way of meeting”, online dating is something every human should experience at least once or twice... ok, make it thrice. It's the modern-day rite of passage.
Fair enough, there are some creepy, weird people out there, but remember, they're not restricted to the online dating realms, they are everywhere. But lucky enough, we have covered this topic to keep you safe, you can read more about it here.
Then there are the horror stories of lame dates, but fear not, the law of averages states that the more shitty, creepy, boring, lame online dates one experiences, is one step closer to having a successful date, which could very well end up being the one, who knows?
Why should you try online dating?
Well, think about it. You get to write a biography on your online-dating-profile about who you are, spending hours and sometimes even days perfecting it. You start reflecting who you are as a person and what you really want out of life and relationships.
Then there is the feedback. Online dates are more likely to be open and direct towards giving feedback. Brutal or pleasant, whichever you get will teach you something about yourself.
You also get to hone your communication skills. Texting, calling and face-to-face. Think about it for a second, technically you've just pulled a random person off the street to discuss each other's lives over coffee. Deluded? Hardly, this is incredible for your confidence, and you get to learn about people, their story, background and culture. Sponge it all up, it can inspire you to try something new or change something in your life.
#4 - The One Night Stand
There is often a mixed emotion on the idea of having a ONS. There may be a moral undertone that dictates into making this sound or seem like a sordid or forbidden idea. The thought of giving yourself up to some stranger in meaningless sex could come across as shallow.
You're not cold-hearted after all, and will probably feel all “icky”, guilty, lonely and empty the following morning.
Suck it up buttercup!
Go home, have a shower and lie on your bed listening to the lyrics of Sam Smith's 'Stay with me'. You'll start to smile soon enough when you realise you've just had sex... with a real person. You experienced living for the first time in your life, satisfied a sexual urge. So go ahead and notch that belt!
Of fair enough, it's not something for everyone, but if you have thought of it or fantasised about it, get it out your system sooner!
What do you get from having a ONS?
You regained the power to satisfy your own sexual needs, on your own terms, and succeeded. It also works wonders for that much-needed rebound. If you've never experienced some sort of forbidden pleasures in life, you may want to check your pulse at some point.
Needless to say, stay safe and stay even safer.
#5 - The friends with benefits situation
“Oops, we had sex again, wanna be friends too?".
So that One Night Stand encounter you had, ended up becoming a more than a 5 Night Stand instead.
Well done you, your ONS has just been upgraded to a FWB. Well done to you.
So friends with benefits it is. Yes, yes, your care-bear BFF will always cast a shadow over you, stating 12 reasons why it's just a bad idea and how you will end up worse for wear.
Granted, it may be a bad idea because you not sure where it may end up, but rest assured, FWBs can only end up in one of 5 ways.
1. You end up getting heartbroken. Hey, you can't have it all your way, did you have fun during the phase? Did you learn something new about relationships and got experience out of it?
2. They end up getting heartbroken. You're nobody's keeper.
3. You end up never speaking to each other again, ruining a perfectly good friendship. With 7 billion people on this planet, you will not have a problem finding a new BFF/ONS/FWB again.
4. You just go back to being friends. And the problem is?
5. You end up in a long-term committed relationship. See, there are some good things that come true.
Incidentally, if your ONS ends up as an FWB, it still counts as having had a ONS. It's the initial intention that counts.
#6 - The older guy/woman
"Hunting big game", a term used when pursuing a physical relationship with someone older than you. It's called that because it's far trickier than hunting squirrels, rabbits and mice. This is the real deal.where you need skills to be successful.
Just because they're older does not mean they desperately looking for young, fresh flesh. No. They are more discerning and would rather select someone who is like-minded and potentially has what it takes to keep up, mentally as well as physically.
They want challenging, not challenged.
The thought of having to spend the next 4 weeks training a young pup with no skills in the art of pleasure is too much damn hard work.
What will you get out of it?
There is a raw confidence an older person has within themselves, one which seems to say “No, I don't really give a fuck”.
Not only could you learn from this, but someone older than you will give you a different perspective about life. And especially, S-E-X.
They've been around the block a few times more than you, and have certainly managed to pick up a plethora of skills, techniques and tricks along the way.
Women, as they get older, have a certain exciting and seductive maturity about them. They can just ooze sex appeal and confidence at the right time. The term Cougar is used for good reason. For those who may be offended by the term only fail to understand and appreciate what prowess truly means. Sleek by design, graceful, deadly, and not afraid to hunt alone. The ultimate man-eating machine.
Men, as they get older, get less jealous, become more confident and open as to who they are. They become more genuine in their own way, and couldn't care less what anyone thinks. They certainly do carry more experience and are more willing to express and apply their knowledge to teach the puppy a thing or two. Emotionally, mentally and sexually.
There you have it, 6 genuine situations that cover most of the very dynamic relationships. This does not mean everyone has to go through all of these types of scenarios, but the experience is key to make that long-term commitment work.
Can any of these relationships turn into something meaningful?
Of course they can!
Look, there is no set manual on relationships. There are only guidelines which we can adapt to make up our own minds on how to make it work.
You can read more on taintedguava.com.
If you've barely scratched the surface on what the world has to offer in terms of sex, love and rock 'n roll, well, you might want to postpone those little "I do's" a little longer, say 5 to 10 years maybe? Or until you have lived a little.
Those little "I do's" just might not make the cut if you haven't experienced what is out there. Regrets, doubts and afterthoughts and are going to make that "forever-and-ever" a whole lot shorter, or worse, peppering your marriage with "If only".
Since the world has gotten faster and smaller, we are being constantly thrown back into the pool of society, one that has become more sexually aware over the years. Every day we are exposed to new things, shinier and better things... and temptations. We also get divided as to what you have, what you think you have, what you want and then there is what you wish you had.
It's a hard-game marriage (or life commitment), and even harder if you haven't been around the block a few times to see what there is. Not to say you should become a promiscuous little beast, no, but more on the lines of experiencing at least once what each relationship has to offer.
There is also the fact that we need the skills and mindset to enable ourselves to cope. A frame of reference is needed to understand what it means to not only cope with someone else's bad habits, trust, mannerisms and such but more importantly, how do we cope with ourselves at the same time to make a life-long commitment work.
What can you learn?
#1 - The long-distance relationship
Having a relationship with someone in the next city or time zone comes with a fair share of complicated circumstances. There is having to endure those long cold nights alone, having to cope with the endless "I miss you" texts and the "why haven't you called today" scenarios.
On top of it all, there are those horrible flashes and thoughts about what your partner could be up to. Especially when your partner mentions that fucking name of that overly-attractive work colleague. Why they always seem to be in the picture, is beyond you.
This relationship will take the meaning of trust to a whole new level.
This sounds like trouble to some, and it is, but it's not all doom. They can work for some people, not all.
On the plus side though, as a woman, they master the art of becoming a Webcam goddess, while guys get to legitimately swap dick-pics without being reported as a sex-fiend.
So what does a LDR teach you?
It's the ultimate test of loyalty and trust. Not only towards your partner but more specifically, you get to learn how to trust yourself.
#2 - The whirlwind affair
This is the crack-cocaine of all relationships. It's the one where everything happens fast and all at once - within the first few weeks of meeting each other. Euphoric blasts of dopamine, adrenaline, hormones and excitement of having fun with this stranger.... The chat-a-thons that last until sunrise, the raw, lustful sex, the dumping of all inhibitions and exploring the daring side of yourself. Like wearing vibrating pods on a weekend getaway to some romantic vineyard, daring, you never did that before!
Every fantasy comes true in this relationship, it's quick, it's furious and exciting. You are having the time of your life.
And that's the point, you're having fun which means getting to live a little.
What does this relationship teach you?
You get to see a different side of yourself. One that is completely different from your usual day-to-day you. You get to keep the story about the day you let all inhibitions go. There's that, and you learnt quite a few neat and kinky tricks along the way. No regrets!
#3 - Online dating
Loved by some and hated by others. Regardless of moral grounds, social norms, or the “I prefer the traditional face-to-face way of meeting”, online dating is something every human should experience at least once or twice... ok, make it thrice. It's the modern-day rite of passage.
Fair enough, there are some creepy, weird people out there, but remember, they're not restricted to the online dating realms, they are everywhere. But lucky enough, we have covered this topic to keep you safe, you can read more about it here.
Then there are the horror stories of lame dates, but fear not, the law of averages states that the more shitty, creepy, boring, lame online dates one experiences, is one step closer to having a successful date, which could very well end up being the one, who knows?
Why should you try online dating?
Well, think about it. You get to write a biography on your online-dating-profile about who you are, spending hours and sometimes even days perfecting it. You start reflecting who you are as a person and what you really want out of life and relationships.
Then there is the feedback. Online dates are more likely to be open and direct towards giving feedback. Brutal or pleasant, whichever you get will teach you something about yourself.
You also get to hone your communication skills. Texting, calling and face-to-face. Think about it for a second, technically you've just pulled a random person off the street to discuss each other's lives over coffee. Deluded? Hardly, this is incredible for your confidence, and you get to learn about people, their story, background and culture. Sponge it all up, it can inspire you to try something new or change something in your life.
#4 - The One Night Stand
There is often a mixed emotion on the idea of having a ONS. There may be a moral undertone that dictates into making this sound or seem like a sordid or forbidden idea. The thought of giving yourself up to some stranger in meaningless sex could come across as shallow.
You're not cold-hearted after all, and will probably feel all “icky”, guilty, lonely and empty the following morning.
Suck it up buttercup!
Go home, have a shower and lie on your bed listening to the lyrics of Sam Smith's 'Stay with me'. You'll start to smile soon enough when you realise you've just had sex... with a real person. You experienced living for the first time in your life, satisfied a sexual urge. So go ahead and notch that belt!
Of fair enough, it's not something for everyone, but if you have thought of it or fantasised about it, get it out your system sooner!
What do you get from having a ONS?
You regained the power to satisfy your own sexual needs, on your own terms, and succeeded. It also works wonders for that much-needed rebound. If you've never experienced some sort of forbidden pleasures in life, you may want to check your pulse at some point.
Needless to say, stay safe and stay even safer.
#5 - The friends with benefits situation
“Oops, we had sex again, wanna be friends too?".
So that One Night Stand encounter you had, ended up becoming a more than a 5 Night Stand instead.
Well done you, your ONS has just been upgraded to a FWB. Well done to you.
So friends with benefits it is. Yes, yes, your care-bear BFF will always cast a shadow over you, stating 12 reasons why it's just a bad idea and how you will end up worse for wear.
Granted, it may be a bad idea because you not sure where it may end up, but rest assured, FWBs can only end up in one of 5 ways.
1. You end up getting heartbroken. Hey, you can't have it all your way, did you have fun during the phase? Did you learn something new about relationships and got experience out of it?
2. They end up getting heartbroken. You're nobody's keeper.
3. You end up never speaking to each other again, ruining a perfectly good friendship. With 7 billion people on this planet, you will not have a problem finding a new BFF/ONS/FWB again.
4. You just go back to being friends. And the problem is?
5. You end up in a long-term committed relationship. See, there are some good things that come true.
Incidentally, if your ONS ends up as an FWB, it still counts as having had a ONS. It's the initial intention that counts.
#6 - The older guy/woman
"Hunting big game", a term used when pursuing a physical relationship with someone older than you. It's called that because it's far trickier than hunting squirrels, rabbits and mice. This is the real deal.where you need skills to be successful.
Just because they're older does not mean they desperately looking for young, fresh flesh. No. They are more discerning and would rather select someone who is like-minded and potentially has what it takes to keep up, mentally as well as physically.
They want challenging, not challenged.
The thought of having to spend the next 4 weeks training a young pup with no skills in the art of pleasure is too much damn hard work.
What will you get out of it?
There is a raw confidence an older person has within themselves, one which seems to say “No, I don't really give a fuck”.
Not only could you learn from this, but someone older than you will give you a different perspective about life. And especially, S-E-X.
They've been around the block a few times more than you, and have certainly managed to pick up a plethora of skills, techniques and tricks along the way.
Women, as they get older, have a certain exciting and seductive maturity about them. They can just ooze sex appeal and confidence at the right time. The term Cougar is used for good reason. For those who may be offended by the term only fail to understand and appreciate what prowess truly means. Sleek by design, graceful, deadly, and not afraid to hunt alone. The ultimate man-eating machine.
Men, as they get older, get less jealous, become more confident and open as to who they are. They become more genuine in their own way, and couldn't care less what anyone thinks. They certainly do carry more experience and are more willing to express and apply their knowledge to teach the puppy a thing or two. Emotionally, mentally and sexually.
There you have it, 6 genuine situations that cover most of the very dynamic relationships. This does not mean everyone has to go through all of these types of scenarios, but the experience is key to make that long-term commitment work.
Can any of these relationships turn into something meaningful?
Of course they can!
Look, there is no set manual on relationships. There are only guidelines which we can adapt to make up our own minds on how to make it work.
You can read more on taintedguava.com.
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